


i almost do

by huntressreyna



Series: my everything [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29149494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntressreyna/pseuds/huntressreyna
Summary: “you know how hard it is for me to just ignore his calls and texts? He probably thinks I hate him or that I’m over him or something. But it just…it takes everything in me not to call. And when I don’t text or call, I almost do. I feel sick over it but I don’t think I can handle hearing his voice. I feel like if I do, I’ll just break down and die. Or something.”A story in which Nico and Will are broken up and it takes all that Nico has not to call Will, unable to handle hearing his voice again. Unable to handle saying goodbye again.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo & Will Solace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: my everything [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781416
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	i almost do

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all! thanks for reading this fic! unsurprisingly it is based off "i almost do" by taylor swift. enjoy!:)

Nico stared at the wall, his phone clutched tightly in his hand. He was in his sister Hazel’s apartment, he had been crashing there for a few weeks. Hazel didn’t mind, at all, she liked having him over, but she hated seeing him in _that_ state; heart-broken, torn apart, hopeless. Being a son of Hades’ was hard, most of his children were depressed and angry, and as a child, Nico was. Until he met Will Solace, the only man who could light up a room with just his smile. Will made Nico happy, happier than he ever had been before. While Nico knew he had to work on himself and through his own problems and his relationship with Will wasn’t a substitute for therapy. He never wanted the feeling of his heart thumping against his chest and butterflies swarming in his stomach to go away. He never wanted to forget how good it felt to experience actual joy. As much as it embarrassed him to admit it outlaid, he was seeing someone to talk about his depression, and even was taking anti-depressants mostly because he was desperate to hold onto what he and Will had. He was scared if his depression and anger had taken over, he would lose Will and even though he should’ve been doing it for himself, Will was just happy he had gotten Nico to work on himself.

It worked for a while. Then it didn’t. Life moved fast, things got crazy, and trauma never fully went away. Will was going to med school, Nico was still working for Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood. Will broke things off; his workload was too heavy and it was rare that he and Nico would spend time together. It was too hard to continue this long-distance relationship and keep up with his studies. It hurt the both of them, sometimes Will stayed up late at night, sitting in his chair that looked out the window, overlooking the city of Boston, thinking about Nico, wondering if he even made the right decision. He would text him here and there, trying to reach out and see how he was doing, but never got a reply. He didn’t want to take it too hard, he hated himself for breaking things off and he was sure Nico hated him too. He didn’t blame him-he really couldn’t blame Nico-for hating him. They had been together since they were young, fifteen or sixteen, ending a relationship that lasted that long was never easy, but he knew it was for the best. They both needed a chance to grow outside of each other and do the things they wanted to do without being tied down. At least, Will thought that’s what they needed. Now, he was unsure of himself. He felt like he made the biggest mistake and now it was too late. Nico resented him, hated him now, and Will didn’t know if their relationship could be fixed.

* * *

Nico laid on the couch, hugging a throw pillow close to his chest. His skin was paler than usual, eyes red from the crying he had been doing, and his lips were red and puffy. He hadn’t been able to eat for a week without throwing up from feeling sick or the constant anxiety. He didn’t know why he was anxious, he just knew he felt sick and nauseous all the time. Hazel made sure he stayed hydrated for the most part, constantly offering gatorade or water, but she didn’t want to be too overbearing knowing her brother liked to be alone.

He couldn’t help himself, he kept replaying _that_ day in his head. Will came to Camp Half-Blood tosay his goodbyes before he left for Boston to go to med school for his second semester. Nico and him had already figured out the challenges, and Nico assumed they would work through it. They loved each other, so why wouldn’t it work? While they walked along the perimeter of the camp together, Will broke the news:

_“Nico,” Will said, stopping in his tracks. He shoved his hands into his coat pockets, he had forgotten gloves but other than that was bundled up in a winter coat and hat. Nico was wearing a simple jacket, claiming that he didn’t mind the cold. But judging by his red ears and nose, he was lying. Camp Half-Blood was gorgeous around this time, covered in snow and ice, with snowmen between every cabin of course._

_“Yes?” Nico stopped too, looking up at Will. He had the faintest smile on his lips._

_“I think….” Will took a deep breath, “I think we need to end this.”  
_

_He saw the confusion on Nico’s face, then a smile. “You think you’re so funny, huh Solace?” Nico playfully punched his arm with a grin, “c’mon lets go, lover boy, so you’re not late.” He began to walk again._

_“Nico,” Will said again, and the other man turned around. The smile faded from Nico’s face and he walked closer to his boyfriend._

_“Are you serious, Will?” His eyebrows scrunched up, he was trying to find a way to believe that what Will was saying was true. He felt sick and nauseous, like he had to throw up. There was that sinking feeling in his heart and he wanted to believe that he was hearing things. “is there…is it me? Is there someone else? Gods, Will, you love someone else?” All the hurt and anger in his voice made Will feel sick._

_“Nico, no, no. It’s not you, Neeks-“ Will had reached out to grab his hand and Nico snatched his own away, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes._

_“Don’t call me that-,” He said, quickly wiping at his eyes._

_“I…please don’t make this harder for me than it already it, please,” Will begged, “I love you so fucking much but with med school and my work load and the long distance, it’s hard for me, Nico.”_

_“You don’t think it’s hard for me too?” Nico yelled, “Fuck, Will, you’re just going to give up on us because it’s hard? Fuck off, have fun in Boston.” he stormed off, leaving Will behind. He knew he should’ve given Will a chance to explain, but he let his anger and sadness get the best of him._

_It was a few weeks later that Will and Nico talked over the phone. Nico understood Will wanted to focus on his studies, but it still wasn’t easy to hear. It wasn’t easy to hear his voice or to talk to him without crying or desperately wanting to tell Will that he loved him and he didn’t think that would change. They agreed that they still wanted to keep in contact with each other, but for now it was best that they weren’t in a relationship._

Nico stared at his phone, looking at all the messages he received from Will that have gone ignored. He wanted desperately, more than anything to text or to call him. He wanted to call him and tell him that it takes everything not to call Will. Every time he doesn’t send the text or make the call, he almost does. And it hurts. It hurts more than anything. He didn’t want to say _hello_ knowing it would end in another _goodbye_. He didn’t think he could handle that, not another goodbye, knowing that their relationship was over and unsure if it was even going to mend. He wished more than anything that he could just run to Will, hold onto him, never let go.

Hazel sat on the couch, besides Nico. “It’s been a month,” she said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. She could tell he was conflicted. “Call him.”

Nico wiped his nose with his sleeve, “I can’t,” he mumbled, “you know how hard it is for me to just ignore his calls and texts? He probably thinks I hate him or that I’m over him or something. But it just…it takes everything in me not to call. And when I don’t text or call, I almost do. I feel sick over it but I don’t think I can handle hearing his voice. I feel like if I do, I’ll just break down and die. Or something.”

“You won’t die,” Hazel rubbed his shoulder before moving her hand, “I promise. Maybe…you’ll feel better. Maybe it’ll be nice to hear his voice. You never know, Nico. This isn’t permanent, I know that much.”

“Right, you know that much,” he scoffed, “he’ll probably find someone better than me. Like a doctor or some shit.”

“That’s not true,” She shook her head, “he just needs some time to get used to his schedule and the new city his in and his workload. But I just don’t think it’s the end forever.”

“Sure,” Nico looked down at his phone before putting it away. “I’m not ready to talk to him yet. I don’t know if I ever will be…”

* * *

Will sat at his chair in his apartment, it was a Friday night, almost one in the morning. It had been a long day. And he couldn’t stop thinking about Nico.He drank a beer miserably, watching as cars zoomed by and revved their engines on the heavily trafficked street. _Nico would hate it here,_ Will thought, _too much noise at night. He would never stop complaining about how loud it was at night and that he needed his sleep._ He sighed to himself, tossing the beer can aside once he finished it. It was nearing his fifth one of the night, he couldn't necessarily think straight, and his better judgement was lacking.

He grabbed his phone and called Nico, expecting it to ring and go to voicemail. After the third ring, his thumb neared the button to end the call, but the ringing suddenly stopped, much to his surprise.

"Hello?” the voice on the other end was small, broken, hurting. Will could tell just from the one word.

“Nico,” Will breathed out, and it was quickly followed by a hiccup and another loud motorcycle revving loudly down the street. Will moved from his chair, going to his room hoping it would be more quiet. “Hi, sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to pick up.”

“Yeah,” Nico said, “I wasn’t either..”

“You okay? What’s going on?” Will asked. He seemed to be at a loss for words, unsure of what to say to him.

There was a scoff at the other end, “Just peachy, Will. I’m doing just peachy.”  
  
Will felt a sting in his chest and he gulped, laying back on his bed, “Do you still hate me?”

Silence hung between them for a minute. What Will didn’t know what Nico was trying to compose himself. He was desperately trying not to start crying again.

“I never hated you,” Nico replied finally, “I needed time. I’m still hurting.”

“Yeah,” Will breathed out, “me too.”  
  
“Then what are we doing? _Why_ are we doing this to ourselves?”

“I don’t know,” Will said truthfully, “I thought it would help. I thought if we separated for a while, we could find ourselves and….I don’t know…I made a mistake. A huge fucking mistake.”

“I have to go now, okay? I don’t think I can handle much more…”

“Handle what?”

“You, your voice, talking to you. It’s too much, okay Will?”

“I understand,” he said quietly, “I’ll talk to you soon, hopefully?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay,” he pursed his lips, before he got the chance to say _goodbye,_ the line went dead, Nico had hung up.

Will downed more beers, more drinks, trying desperately to forget. Trying to come up with a solution for the mess he made. He wanted to be back together with Nico, more than anything, but at this point would the other take him back? Or consider it? Will caused an insurmountable amount of pain to Nico and he didn’t know if that could even be fixed. He was hurting too, but all he could do was blame himself, Nico didn’t want this. Will didn’t even know if this is what he wanted anymore.

_come live with me,_

_please_

_just for a week or two. i miss you_

_try again with me_. _please_

Will texted Nico without a second thought. He didn’t think there was a chance that Nico would respond, much less take him up on his offer. He was drunk and desperate and couldn’t think straight for the life of him. all he knew was that his heart was aching to the point where he thought it might burst and he never felt more sick than in this moment. The reality of everything had seemed to fully hit him; Nico and him were no longer together. They no longer kissed or held hands or whispered _I love you_ late at night. They were separate people now, and they have been for a little over a month. Will felt stupid, he felt disgusted with himself, like if he looked in the mirror, he would instantly throw up at the sight of himself. How could he just let Nico go so easily?

Will tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. The sun rose and Will tried to find some comfort in the fact that he knew his father was driving the sun chariot right now, trying to find comfort in anything really. The previous night was a blur, he wasn’t really sure what happened, the only thing he remembered was talking to Nico on the phone briefly. He regretted the messages he sent, mostly because there was no reply from his ex and he just felt fucking stupid for even thinking that Nico wanted to stay with him for a week or even a few days. He hurt Nico and couldn’t even imagine the spiral he was going down. It made him feel sick all over again.

Nico, however, stayed up all night. He was just staring at the text messages that Will left him. He couldn’t tell if they were serious or not or what and it hurt him more, yet he wanted to risk everything to find out. It didn’t help that Hazel was encouraging him to go. By the afternoon, he was pacing Hazel’s apartment, meanwhile his sister had packed a bag for him, like he actually might go.

“Here’s an idea, instead of making yourself anxious over this, why don’t you call him?” Hazel said to Nico, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Because he hates me, probably.”

“Listen, the sun is going to set soon,” Hazel ignored Nico, knowing better than to argue with him, “If you’re gonna go, go now before you can’t.”

“You mean before I chicken out?” Nico scoffed.

“No, I mean before the sun sets and you can’t shadow travel,” she rolled her eyes, “I know you’re scared, but he clearly wants you back. So _go to him_.”

Nico stopped pacing, taking a few deep breaths to comfort himself. His heart was beating much too fast for his liking and he felt too nauseous. He either needed to go or stay, but he had to stick to his decision, otherwise it would just cause more turmoil.

“I’m going,” he announced, ignoring the _I told you so_ smile that arose on Hazel’s lips. He hugged her goodbye and took his bag, going outside to find a place to begin his journey. It only took a few jumps, since he was going from one coast to the other, but he still needed breaks otherwise he’d pass out from exhaustion.

By the time he made it to Will’s apartment, the sun was completely set. He regretted going, but he was scared. Would everything go back to normal? Would it be weird or awkward? Would there be lingering resentment…?

He inhaled deeply, looking around before back at the brownstone where Will’s apartment was. He knocked loudly and crossed his arms over his chest, looking away from the door, wanting to avoid looking directly at Will.

The door swung open and he held his breath.

“You came,” Will said, the surprise showing on his face, “I-I didn’t think you would, I thought you hated me and-“

Nico lunged at him, wrapping his arms around Will’s neck, holding on tightly, “shut up, please, stop talking,” he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Yeah, okay,” Will said quietly, hugging around his waist, pulling the other closer, afraid if he let go, Nico would suddenly disappear and this was just a figment of his imagination.

_They held onto each other forever, never letting go_.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading again! comments and kudos are well appreciated <3 plus if you have any suggestions for ships or plots you'd like to see, i would be happy to take suggestions!!!


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